We’ve split up our guide into easy digestable chunks, so here goes with part 1 -

The months and weeks leading up to any brides big day are vital in setting the tone for the whole experience.

Remaining stress free whilst planning the wedding will have a knock on effect for your wedding day.

So how do we minimise the stress whilst planning the wedding?

A lot of brides in my experience become overwhelmed with the planning experience. I have known some brides to pick out one or two elements of the wedding that are important to them and take a “whatever” approach to the rest. This may work for some but do you really want to take a chance with the remaining elements of your wedding??

Delegation of tasks to people you trust is vital trying to do everything yourself is daunting and can be extremely stressful.

However delegating to the wrong person (or delegating with unclear instructions) can up the stress even further!! I would advise asking someone outside of the main wedding party who is particularly organised and trustworthy.

Don’t keep looking back at things once you have made a decision…

For example, after you’ve ordered your dress don’t look at other dresses – because you’ll just confuse yourself or find something that you like better. Don’t second-guess your decisions. Trust that you made the decision for a reason and that it is the right one. Make it and don’t look back.

Figure out your priorities and focus your time and budget on them, rather than trying to have the best of everything and spreading your resources thin.

Unless you have unlimited time and money and your day-to-day life stops until your wedding, you’re not going to be able to do it all, so focus on what is important to you and your FH rather than worrying about everything.

Choose professionals that you trust. Then step back and allow them to do their jobs.

For example, you should not choose the photographer with the prettiest sample photos, as anybody can take some good photos and display them well. Chose someone with whom you ‘click’, someone who seems pleasant to work with and trustworthy as well as professional.

Don’t sweat on the details. Put down the wedding magazines and step into the real world.

Yes, displays in wedding magazines where the napkins perfectly match the sashes on the bridesmaid dresses are beautiful. In real life, however, wedding guests rarely notice or care.

Is it really worth it to spend 3 months looking for the perfect fabric to make your own chair covers when you could rent ones that ALMOST match and then spend those three months living your life rather than stressing about chair covers?

Don’t live your wedding. Yes, it is important to you – but remember that nobody (not even the groom) is as invested in the details as you are.

Your friends and family want to talk about things other than your wedding every so often. Your other half might like to go on a date without it turning into a wedding meeting.

Realize that things will come up. You do not need to make a backup plan for every possible thing that might go wrong, but think about some of the things that are likely to go wrong and how you would react.

If something goes wrong, take a deep breath and think about the best solution. Or let the people you’ve hired deal with the problem. If the cake falls over, the bride does not need to clean it up.

Don’t stress yourself out by looking at wedding planning timelines and realizing that you’re ‘behind schedule.’ These things are guidelines only – and most of the time, there is no reason to do things as early as they suggest.

Some of them suggest that you have your venue booked a year and a half or two years in advance. Some brides are not even engaged that long!! So how could you book the venue that early? And guess what – everything will get done. Follow your own schedule, and don’t worry about what a timeline or an online planner says you should have done by a given point.

You are probably a busy person, with or without having to plan a wedding. Your time is precious. Don’t try to do everything in person.

For example, you don’t have to visit a vendor/supplier in person to get their prices. Any vendor worth doing business with will provide you with some information before meeting them in person (sometimes this takes a little convincing, as they WANT to get you there in person and make the sale).

I would advise meeting some vendors in person such as the photographer (for the reasons mentioned before)

At some point, you will reach the point of no return. Stand back, let things happen, adapt to changes if necessary, and ENJOY YOUR WEDDING!!

Don’t stress if the salad is served before the champagne toast, when you had planned it the other way around. Nobody except you will know or care.

Don’t stress over decisions at all. Nobody will know the decision you didn’t make – they’ll only see the one you picked.

You are the only one who will be comparing your dress to the dress you almost bought. Everybody else will just think you look beautiful.

Be flexible. So your ideal venue and church aren’t available on your ideal day. It’s not the end of the world.

Either pick a different day, or pick a different venue or church. Your wedding will be special regardless of whether it’s on a special date or in a special location – if you can’t get the ‘special’ stuff, don’t stress it. You’ll just have new special stuff.

Don’t make any key decisions two years in advance, including your wedding party.

Brides frequently change their minds on everything from dresses to food. And a lot can happen between friends in a year or two.

Go ahead and think about it two years in advance, but don’t ask anybody or book anything until (at the earliest) a year ahead of time. You just need to look through the posts about bridesmaids in any online forum. There’s ALWAYS at least one issue, many of which are due to the bride asking people too far in advance.

Know the things you can control and those you can’t.

Scenario A: DJ plays the wrong first dance song. Ok, this you can control. Correct the mistake and have him play the right song.

Scenario B: Best Man gets a flat tire on the way to the ceremony. Not much you can do about this one. Just send someone to pick him up and let the guests know that the ceremony will begin 15 minutes late (or whatever).

Don’t stress about the things you can’t control.

And later in the day…

… set aside a few minutes after the wedding ceremony to spend with your new spouse. The day of the wedding is extremely busy, and these may be the only moments for many hours that you will have that are just the two of you.

Be sure to catch part 2 of our Where To Start wedding guide…